The kittens went back to the shelter today, to get ready to be offered to the public for adoption. Our mission — to get them fattened up a la Hansel & Gretel — was deemed a success, with extra credit points for surrounding them with love and attention so they’re primed and ready for their future forever humans.
Next and final task: clean their room — by which I mean, bleach and vacuum the crap out of everything that they touched — at the behest of the humane society — because when you bring wild animals into your home, the only thing you really know is that you never really know all the additional things you may have brought into your home.
Despite the rigorous cleaning and vaccinating, plus the checking and triple-checking that they do so incredibly well before and during a fostering, this is a world where cynics and pragmatists reign: assume you’ve got something that needs sterilizing in there, and leave no thread of carpet or inch of fuzzy toy un-scrubbed.
And amidst the practical, the necessary, the needful — a moment of grief, for a time that was lovely, and gave our lives meaning, and helped us be of use.
If I’m lucky, ten years from now
I’ll be able to think back on now
This now, today’s now
And there will be people and things
and worries and hopes and dreams
that will no longer have the energy and the power
that they do right now
and there will be those that will
Almost every cell in my body will have changed, in some way
some invisibly, some undeniably
but the vast majority of what I see in the mirror today will be
something different
But that perpetual eye and voice in my head
that phantom watcher
who has been with me ever since I can remember
(she certainly was there 10 years ago)
10 years from now
she’s still gonna be there
but she’s gonna be a little bit different from me
and a little bit the same
And she’s gonna be thinking about now
This now, today’s now
About the people and the things
and the worries and the hopes and the dreams
and she’s gonna be a little bit pleased
and she’s gonna be a little bit sad
If I’m lucky
~ (c) Hezaasan 2021
Muttering Retreats 
This is beautiful! I love the term “Phantom Watcher”. Clever title, per usual. Great stuff!
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Thank you for your inspired and inspiring poem. I needed that! Love, Dad
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